In Loving Memory | High Tea To Remember a Dear Mother, Family, Friend

"A good name is better than good oil,

and the day of death is better than the day of birth.

Better to go in the house of mourning
than in the house of feasting,

for that is the end of everyman,

and the living should take it to heart."

Ecclesiastes 7:1,2

Have you ever been to a funeral service for a loved one or friend?  How did it make you feel?  

Usually, funerals are very sad events, filled with grief, heavy hearts, and uncertainty.  The funeral for a dear friend I attended on Saturday was very solemn, dignified, and most of all, comforting.  

Friends and family arrived at the hall, there were more people there than the family had expected, the hall was so full many had to remain standing at the back, an evidence that our dear loved one touched the lives of many.  They all came to remember our lost friend and to offer love and consolation for the family she left behind. 

The speaker, a deeply regarded friend of the family, welcomed everyone, he is also to deliver a bible-based, comforting talk for all those present at the memorial.  He started by reminding us of the kind of person she is: very thoughtful, dignified, nurturing mother, loving wife, real English woman who loved her cucumber sandwiches and tea.  At a very young age, she left her home in Essex England, leaving the only life she knew and all the people she loved behind to start a new life with her husband here in Canada.  But she never relented in sending home letters of love and endearment.  Then she helped raise four lovely daughters who now have families and children of their own.  Those kids would attest that she is the best grandmother ever!

 Ecclesiastes 7:1 says that "a good name is better than good oil, and the day of death is better than the day of birth."  Why would you think that is?  In birth, a new life has begun and we celebrate it.  Yet, we don't have the slightest idea how that wonderful life will turn out in the end.  Parents would do all in their power to nurture that life and help their child grow up to be the best person they could be.  But isn't it that only in death can we really tell how a certain life turned out to be?

How do we want to be remembered?  The Scripture continues saying: "Better to go in the house of mourning than in the house of feasting, for that is the end of every man, and the living should take it to heart."  

We should take it to heart, indeed.  In the house of mourning, a memorial service, we reflect on the eventuality of life in this system of things.  It allows us to meditate on how we are using our own life.  What are the things we are pursuing, would we be proud of them later on?  How are we affecting the lives of others?  In a house of feasting, of good times, we may come away happy and satisfied at heart but we may not look back and learn, so we would continue our days in the way we always did.  However, when we are faced with the reality of life, we come away with meditative hearts, thinking deeply on how we can make ourselves better than yesterday.  

That is of course, not the only reason why gathering with friends and family at a memorial service is better than feasting. There is also the comfort and consolation from mutual friendship and love.  We remind each other of our sure hope in the future.  That death is not the end but a respite from the bitter world around.  

"Do not be amazed at this, for the hour is coming in which all those in the memorial tombs will hear his voice and come out, those who did good things to a resurrection of life..."  John 5:28, 29 

God gave his only begotten son as a ransom sacrifice. (John 3:16)  One of the results of that sacrifice is we are bought from sin, having now the opportunity to live again.  Although we may die in this system of things, Jehovah God can give our life back, to live not in a world full of strife and suffering but "in a new world where righteousness is to dwell."  Soon, our loving God will cleanse the earth from anyone, or anything, that ruins it, the wicked will be cut-off and the righteous will inherit the earth.  Life will be in a paradise earth. (Revelation 11:18) That is the kind of life awaiting our resurrected loved ones. (Psalm 37:10, 11, 29) {For more information please see: Resurrection} What a comfort indeed to spend some time with others who share this hope with us, to strengthen and encourage one another.

"Just a little while longer,

and the wicked will be no more;

You will look at where they were,

And they will not be there.

But the meek ones will possess the earth,

And they will find exquisite delight 

in the abundance of peace...

The righteous will possess the earth,

and they will live forever on it."

Psalm 37: 10, 11, 29

Following a spiritually enriching discourse, a spread to enliven the tired physical body.  In memory of our dear English-Woman friend, a high tea in her honor.  When Jesus resurrected a twelve-year old girl, he requested that the parents should give her food to eat.  Perhaps when Jesus resurrects our friend back to life he'd say, "Here is your dear friend, give her something to eat... Perhaps some cucumber sandwiches and a cup of tea."

Treats, flowers, tea cups and pots, coffee and lemonade graced an L-shaped table on the lobby.  It was very comforting! This set up is a clear reminder of the beautiful person, a dear she was.

I scoured the internet for a good cucumber sandwich recipe and I was able to contribute some to the occasion. I thought I'd be able to take some photos later but didn't get another chance.  I did however take a photo of my other tray of sandwiches.

For my ham and cheese sandwiches I used:  whole wheat bread, thin slices of tomatoes, cucumbers, ham, and cheese, with herb and garlic cream cheese softened with a little bit of mayonnaise.  I found the cream cheese hard to spread on it's own, the addition of mayonnaise made it more spreadable.  I plucked some fresh mint leaves to use as garnish.

These were a few of the empty tiered trays waiting to be filled up with delicious, great looking treats. The before :-)  Friends were asked to lend their dishes and tea cups to the occasion.  The support was overwhelming!  The organizer had to tell others to stop bringing them in as there were too many.  As for me, I was delighting in the different colors, shapes and history in each and every cup.  One would say, this is my grandmother's... my aunt's... a wedding gift... Pleasant memories lingered in the air... an atmosphere of love, hope and comfort.

Beautiful, cheerful flowers were spread about the room to comfort friends and family and to remind us of a grand hope for our dear friend in the future.

I wonder, how am I regarded now?  How will I be remembered when my time has come? 

Have you ever wondered?
How will you be remembered?
What hope will your loved ones cherish? What is your hope?

Some great reads for the heart:

Life After Death - Is It Possible?

Does Death End it All?

Why does God Allow Suffering?

Hope For Our Loved Ones Who Have Died (Worksheets)

Thank you for taking the time to read my post.
Please see these other beautiful tea with Friends:
Keeping it Simple | Rose Chintz Cottage | The Charm of Home | Martha's Favorites |
 Share Your Cup Tuesday |Antiques and Tea Cups | A Return to Loveliness

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